Arms Wide Open

Arms Wide Open

Healing. A perfectly natural occurrence in life. Cut your finger and the body responds and over time the cut disappears. Clearly this is not a conscious decision. It occurs with or without our interference and sometimes in spite of it. Yet there are some illnesses that the body cannot seem to overcome. The pain becomes so intense that it becomes your world. It becomes you.

A wise man once said: “You don’t pray for rain. You pray rain.” Essentially what this means is that if you are lacking rain, you don’t pray for it because you are focusing on the lack, on what you don‘t have. By ‘praying rain’ you are focusing on something that already exists.

So by the same token “you don’t pray for healing. You pray health.” By seeking healing, does this not suggest that there is something wrong to begin with, empowering the idea of sickness even more?

I have never healed a person, nor has anyone healed me (those who can’t do, teach!). I have never seen a person healed myself. The immediate and obvious question here is: are physical miracles even possible? We all have heard those rare stories of people being suddenly cured of cancer, and yet they received no treatment. Even their doctors are mystified. Are these simply anomalies? Properties of mere chance? Or is it conceivable that the possibility does exist?

But if does exist, why don’t we see it more consistently? Ah. Now that is a question.

(Of course the philosopher in me wonders: should we even try to be healed? What of the teachings and wisdom that comes from suffering? All good questions, to be saved for another time.)

Obviously pain is very real in the moment. It is nigh impossible to argue against its existence. How people deal with chronic pain I can’t even begin to imagine the difficulty, but at the very least I can draw inspiration from them. Pain is never more real than when we are in the midst of it.

But have you ever considered the amount of fear that lies hidden beneath this idea of healing? I am always interested in the biblical stories of healing. Let us forget the whole debate as to whether this really happened or not, let us ignore the fact that perhaps these stories are messages about something else entirely. All of the miracles required the active participation from the one who was sick.

The blind man is told to go wash the mud from his eyes. The paralyzed man is told to pick up his stretcher and walk away. The woman who touches Jesus’ garment is told that it is her faith that has healed her. These are active participants.

I would suggest that Jesus did not heal anyone. Instead, those who were healed accepted the healing for themselves. And clearly being able to “heal” others, means Jesus understood and accepted it for himself.

And what better images of acceptance are there than babies asleep in their crib, arms wide open. Or images of Jesus blessing people with his arms outstretched? Even crucified his arms are wide open.



And what do these images of open arms suggest? Acceptance. The image of Jesus on the cross is a symbol of his own acceptance - of the power that is his (and ours), as well as acceptance of his own fate.



How many adults sleep this way? As children? Completely open, without a fear in the world? Is this even a realistic possibility for adults? Clearly children are blissfully unaware as they lack the experience of adulthood. They simply don’t know any better. And yet all are born into this state. It existed at one time. Can it exist again? Or did it ever really leave?

Why would a person be afraid of healing? What could a person in pain possibly be afraid of? Surely they would want the healing? They would be begging for it.

Healing, like Grace is the most fearful thing in the world. (Wait, what was that? Who is afraid of Grace? The answer is everyone.)

Grace is defined as “undeserved kindness”. Why does a person feel guilty for so long? Because they cannot forgive themselves. Because they falsely believe they deserve what they get. In my experience these feelings and fears are rarely conscious decisions, but deeply rooted, invasive vines. Here is a description of what vines do (thanks Wikipedia!): “A vine may use exposures, other plants, or other supports for growth rather than investing energy in a lot of supportive tissue.”

To accept Grace into one’s life, means accepting THAT YOU ARE WORTHY, despite your experiences. Despite your doubts. Who can stand in front of the mirror and look themselves in the eye and declare: “I AM WORTHY?”

This is why Grace and healing are so fearful. And what makes things even harder, is that in order to accept that you are worthy, means you have to accept that other people are worthy. And therein lies the problem. Worthiness is incapable of judgement. All are worthy or none. There is no middle ground. Worthiness is not available to certain groups, it is available to all. So if you are to admit that you are worthy, it also requires you to admit that your neighbour is worthy. And your enemy is worthy. That the guy who cut you off in morning traffic is also worthy. And these are just small examples, but if you continue through this logic you must also consider the extreme examples too. The pedophile, the rapist, the dictator, the serial killer, the abuser, the terrorist. They all must be worthy, or no one is worthy.

If you cannot accept Grace for yourself, what hope is there in accepting it in others?

For how you judge yourself, so do you judge the world.

I am amazed at how difficult most people have accepting compliments. It embarrasses them, or they try to take the high road and suggest they don’t want their ego to get a hold of it. Others will outright reject a compliment or belittle themselves and even deflect them. But why?

It is because of this inability to accept for ourselves. And let me make this absolutely clear. The writer of this post is no different.

So the next time someone gives you compliment, or a pat on the back, don’t shrug it off. Accept it (especially if you think its not true!). For what person at Christmas rejects a present? And while we are busy rejecting these tiny little gifts, do we consider what it does to the giver? What message are we sending? This is the message we send with every rejection: I do not accept this for me, because I do not accept it in you.

We talk about how hard life is, and murder thoughts of beauty at the same time.

If the world suddenly gave birth to a great healer (a legitimate one mind you) in your present state of mind…do you think you could be healed? Could you accept it for yourself? Without feeling guilty (“oh, there are so many people more deserving than I”)? There is no one more deserving than you! This is not the ego talking! This is the Spirit. And how can one know this is not the ego (or the devil if you will)? Again, very simple. The ego is self-serving. To accept it for yourself - is to accept it for all. Acceptance benefits all, because it is available to all. But people don’t like that idea at all. They don’t want it available to all, only a select few that they choose. The ego (or the mind/body) want the pain, needs the pain to prove to itself that it exists. To prove to the world that it exists and that its pain is exceedingly worse than any other. It is the ego that thinks: what if the sickness comes back again? I don’t want to get my hopes up, only for them to be crushed again.

When you are wrapped in the cloak of pain, the crown of thorns digging into your flesh, what voice begs for healing? The spirit? Or the Mind/Body? It seems to me that in this moment this would not be the best time to practice acceptance. For really at this point wouldn’t it be completely self-serving? And yet it is also the best time to practice it for this would be the ultimate test. Can you, in the moment, accept it for all? Not because you are in pain, but because the world is?

Acceptance means you have changed your programming, you have become like a child again ("Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all"). Acceptance means you have become a living example for others.

When we see loved ones in pain, how easy and quick we are to wish for their suffering to end. How quick to prayer. Why is it so hard to accept it for ourselves?

The gifts we offer others are the gifts we cannot accept for ourselves.

A friend of mine brought up an interesting idea concerning the Christian practice of washing another follower's feet. She had this to say: “how many of us simply are not prepared to allow ourselves that crucible even for a moment?” I can honestly say, there is no way in hell I could allow that for me. But after writing this post (and after profusely apologizing for not accepting a bow or a compliment) I am certainly going to work toward that acceptance.

Ah, and there is that philosopher’s voice in my head again. “Work toward acceptance? Does this not suggest that you are already lacking? Was not the whole point of this little exercise about recognizing there is no lack and never has been, but acceptance has always existed? Do not work toward acceptance! Accept!”

I guess in order for me to accept for myself I will have to accept it for that damn voice in my head (that never silent Taskmaster). Sheesh!